Doghouse

To continue

Blogs are great except that in journaling everything is backwards or upside-down.

This is the next installment from the one below.

*******

So the service began on the boat and I took lots of shots then settled in to listen Mark and enjoy John Paul and Erin getting married.

It was serious, deep and at times there were tears down my cheek...happy ones. Erin looked so beautiful and her love for John so obvious.

She is a strong and direct woman. I asked her later if she had an older sister (just kidding).

Mark and I both know the hardship of divorce and we do not want our loved ones (or anyone else) to go through that...ever.

So he talked a lot about "agape" the New Testament key word for love. Mark emphasized the "decision" part of it...which is quite accurate. I would have only added that it is not something we can self-generate.

Mark did land again and again at "grace" which is the same thing. Gift-love. We decide to give not because it is rational or we will win...but because we can choose to be that open and give. God must supply the love and grace at that time.

"Grace and truth are realized (incarnate) in Jesus Christ".

Then they were married. When John Paul cried I kinda lost it because I know how deeply he feels and I know his heart. As I said, he is a deep pool.

******

When you are done doing a service you have to greet people and make the rounds. Then you most often want to be alone (or kill yourself). This usually works because people don't wanna discuss Christology, or books by Henri Nouwen or Eugene Peterson or talk about the difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. Most people you meet at a wedding are not prepared to discuss Docetism or make theological jokes.

And that is hard for a guy like Mark because he is not only wicked "smaaaht", he is damned funny. He likes to speak the truth, and he has the cajones to do it, yet it is not arrogance. It's really almost like he cannot help himself.

It's one thing to sellout on a political ideal, or even on a person...but God?

That's fucked up.

And Mark just ain't gonna do it.

I was inspired listening to him. In fact, I have been thinking of when to say this...now is the time.

The supreme compliment a mentor can give a student is "If your church was here I would gladly have you be my pastor."

And I would. I would love it if Mark would move to the Bay Area, and if he ever does, I will sit in his congregation and be thankful to do so.

*******

Ministry is hard...much harder than most anyone knows. It can break you a hundred ways.

It's why I avoid it, live in my Ivory Tower and just write.

I was a good pastor. I know this because of the fruit. I never felt it at the time. I felt vulnerable, naked, stupid, attacked, confused, honored, sacramental, horrified, scared, ambitious, fearful, full of dread, joyful, excited, humbled, arrogant, enraged, sad, playful, intrigued...in love with God and people and also distrustful of both.

Thank God I had a woman to distract me. Now I don't and maybe I am making my way back to my First Love.

It's too early to tell. But a wedding is a picture...a snapshot of Christ and the Church...Bride and Bridegroom. It's an imperfect picture (best thought of as a Poloroid, not a Diane Arbus, though it has the wit).

Mark is getting married in October in Philadelphia. As a sweet gesture he actually invited me.

I might go. 

posted by Obi-Mac BakDon @ 6:40 PM