Doghouse

This is exactly my point...

Camille at the Zoo.





My daughter turned nine yesterday. I am so proud of her. When I called her in the morning yesterday she was skipping across the floor saying "I knew it, I knew it!!"

"I knew it was you," she said.

"Yes, of course it's me," I said.

And we talked for a bit about the last few days where she was on the road. I also said I hoped to see her on Saturday so I could give her presents to celebrate.

When we were done I fired off two emails to L. One was about Saturday, the other about a basketball game in mid December.

The responses are, as always, educational: none.

The first proves my point about giving no further ground. My argument (going back a few months), was that to do so only invites new levels of deprivation for my kids. Not a few people (among the many who follow this on a daily basis) said, "what does it matter if you still get to see them even for part of a day?"

This is naive. Because now that I have done that once, and have asked for a second day to celebrate Camille's birthday and give her gifts, my request is being ignored.

Do you see how that works?

It is not good enough for them to have all the power and to have things on their terms. It is not enough. It is never enough.

The answer would have been easy to give to me. L has things meticulously charted out many weeks in advance. A simple yes or no would have been very easy. Of course, if a "no" then it contradicts past statements about how I can see them (on their terms) any time. This is not true. When I ask on a Monday morning for the following Saturday I can expect silence, then a no later in the week.

So, you see it is all about show. It's all talk and no action or accountability.

And speaking of show, let's talk about the second request that will get a yes.

I simply asked to take the kids to a Warriors basketball game on the 14th. Now if it was just me doing this the answer would be NO. "It's a school night" or whatever blather they would concoct. But it is not that simple because my parents are taking us to the game (they are good friends with Warrior's coach Don Nelson). That changes everything. I left that out of my request but I figure L would figure that out in time. So she cannot say no...but not because it is right and good for our children to go to the game, but because my parents are really the ones requesting this.

She will not say NO to my parents.

Why does she ignore our children's real father, yet defer to my parents?

Why does she not answer a simple request to see my kids for a few hours even though she and LIBF have said they will do all they can to support such meetings?

What do you think is really going on here? I'd love to hear your comments, pro and con and everything inbetween.

In the meantime, I'll keep you posted. If I am correct (and I may not be) I will get a No on Saturday and a Yes on the 14th...and for all the reasons cited above.

(and yes, I am calling legal services today to start the long process of stopping this bullshit). 

posted by Obi-Mac BakDon @ 6:29 AM