Doghouse

Charlie Brown Wises Up

A classic scene.







"Chris,

I'm wondering if you'd set anything up for supervised visits for this weekend, or if you wanted to come do something w/Ad & Cam Saturday or Sunday for a few hours.

L"

*******

L,

My answer is now public and will continue to be every day.

I am not angry. I am simply determined and focused. I will continue to publish on this issue every single day until you see how unfair this is and how our children are being deprived by your own personal control issues.

Next week I will begin to send out a series of these pieces to various outlets and blogs.

This is not about me. It never has been. It is about you. I remind you that if you had any question the night daughter called you, you had a "supervisor" present in R and you never even asked to speak with her.

I think that about sums it.

You just got on the phone and gave me an earful and then had LIBF dump on me. R was here. She witnessed it all.

Then two days later my daughter is locked out of your house while LIBF is asleep.

I have shown myself to be reasonable, open, and supportive of the many changes you have made that involve my children and also of you personally. I have even accepted the unfair judgment that Reese was to be a "supervisor". We know it is not an issue and nothing has ever occurred at any time.

I'm just glad the last two years I have had a witness. You have no grounds for anything. In the meantime, I have provided a home and private bedroom for my children and a safe place to be. I have instituted fun rituals and been open to your suggestions for improving upon even those. There are millions of kids who would love to have that, including my two.

In response, you continue to withhold them, farm them out routinely to other families and demand to have everything on your terms.

I do not agree to your new terms and I will not. We have had a precedent set these last two years in practice, so stow it about Placer County. That travesty is null and void.

And there is nothing more you can take from me that you have not already taken L, so you have no power...just accountability for your actions and how they will affect our children for the rest of their lives.

What else can you take from me that you have not already taken? I cannot think of a thing, seriously.

I will publish this letter tomorrow for adults who are reading. I will also always tell the truth, albeit age-appropriate for the safety of my children.

The two modes of communication are separate. I will not allow my kids to get in the middle as you have. No one reads doghouse but adults.

Do not worry. You will get your check next week even though you withhold my children from me. I know you worry about such things, but visitation and child support should not be connected. I am a man of my word.

Mac

*******

Of course there is an epilogue. I looked at my phone logs and then R's and there were like 8 calls from LIBF's phone. I'm not dealing with him because he is just the Live-In Boyfriend. His credability was lost when he over-reacted to a non-incident and took my daughter.

Once I see my kids again on a regular basis, and he apologizes I am open to re-establishing the trust he has decimated. Until then I have no interest in speaking with him and I do not trust him as anything other than a tool.

I talked earlier about Ron (my first wife's husband at the time). I could always count on him to listen and be fair. Sometimes I could see it pained him because he was caught between what was fair and the expectations of his wife. Tough place to be. But I often asked him "well, what would you do if you were me?"

Good man. I felt genuinely saddened when I heard he and Karen were divorcing. I felt bad for Karen because I am partly responsible for her even having to remarry. I felt bad for Ron because he is an honorable and humble man.

LIBF is a good man, but he is not humble. Therein lies the difference and also why I no longer trust him. A humble man would have thought more about my daughter than his own past fears. He would also have thought about me. he would have asked to talk with R if he was really concerned. But I received a letter shortly after basically saying that nothing I could say or do could change his position.

This from the Live-In Boyfriend who sleeps while my daughter is locked outside.

Note to LIBF: You don't get to have a position because they are not your kids. You are not even married to their mother. Ron was married to Karen and he had the full responsibilities of a step-father. He did a fine job.

You don't get a say. You only get to mimic their mother's view like a puppet.

*******

As for me...I always wondered why Charlie Brown never wised up and kept letting Lucy hold the football. SLAM!!!

Metaphorically speaking, I have wised up. Took me 18 years to figure it out and a great deal of pain: When it comes to L, I've been playing the wrong game.

Baseball is really my game. I got bat speed, a great curveball and I can put a 97 mph fastball next to your earlobe if I want. I do this as a writer on a daily basis.

So Lucy can hold the football all she wants. I'm not available.

posted by Obi-Mac BakDon @ 8:16 AM