Doghouse

Women

Reese with garlic fries.












We were at the Giants game last night, actually on business. You gotta love a job where they give you $100 tickets right on the third baseline for free and you have to be there to take pictures.

My roommate Reese had not been to a game since she was a teenager. It was a great deal of fun and I made sure to spoil her where I could (note the hat...cool huh?)

Now the reason I accept just being roommates with such a beautiful woman is because I can. Also, I would be foolish not to since women, in my experience, are a great deal of trouble and it is very hard to find one with whom you can live in relative peace.

I admit it is probably not any easier living with a man, and certainly not with me.

I use to think I was a smart man. I mean I can write, paint, argue, read books that would make an ordinary person put a bullet in their brainpan...smart. Wicked Smaaaaht.

But I am really not very smart. Or perhaps the issue is wisdom...hmnnn.

*******

For say...oh...what day is it? Tuesday, Wednesday...er two decades I serial monogamied two women. Well actually there was some cross-blending between the two...so it was not exactly serial monogamy it was transitional monogamy.

I use to always be in a hurry.

Later I would not be in a hurry at all and I also sat down and actually thought about it. Hmnnn... I kept coming up with the same conclusion that the common denominator in my failed relationships with women was, er...me.

*******

So with that knowledge I leapt into action and proceeded to do the exact same thing another time.

After they removed my remains from the wood-chipper, I sat down again and thought about it. Did I mention I am really not a very smart man?

I was named after A.A. Milne's character "Christopher Robin" but I am really a lot more like Pooh. Still "Pooh MacDonald" would have only brought more trouble, and I have had plenty.

I decided that I needed to not date or engage in conversation women who were highly intelligent but who also had anger and control issues.

This was a breakthrough not unlike the infamous "Pirranha Brothers" sketch done by Monty Python. At first they threatened the person with being beaten up if they paid them the money. Second, they threatened to not beat the person up unless they didn't pay them. On the third try, they threatened to actually beat the person up if they did not pay them.

And this was the turning point for the Pirranha brothers.

So in my mid-forties (I can scarcely believe it) I hit the turning point and I realized I should only date or be in relationship with women who were smart and also fair and kind.

(Of course they have to be beautiful...but that has never been an issue.)

Well, needless to say things have gone a great deal better since then.

*******

Both of my ex-wives are very smart, industrious and beautiful. I sat at last year's holiday festivities in Ex No. 1's house and watched the two of them dance.

They should get a room.

But they won't because they also evaluate each other constantly as they do everyone else.

Moving from one to the toher? I have no excuse...Instant Karma baby. The gift you give yourself that keeps on giving.

Now that is not to say these women are at all bad. Nope. In fact, I could not have picked two finer women to raise my four kids. Sure, they have down-sides...welcome to life. But both have a nurture and care for my children that is rare these days and I am proud of both of them for all of their effort and grateful.

Now if they could just figure out how to treat adults they'd have it made.

*******

My first Ex tried to withold my kids from me. It's natural after a divorce (which can be a vicious thing). I was smart in my ignorance and simply kept seeing the kids. I also challenged her at every point on withholding them from their natural father and she gave in because it was in their best interest. I respected the hell out of that.

Later, she remarried. He was and is a very good man. We did all the negotiating over the years and even became friends...in time. To this day I am grateful for Ron and all he did for my two older sons. They maintain a good relationship with him even though he and my Ex are now divorced.

He was and is a good and humble man. He never steamrolled me, but he always spoke his mind. Gospel guy. We worked it out.

Second Ex is another matter. The fact is I really like her a lot and I care deeply about her and her future. She doesn;t give a rat's ass about mine.

I cannot explain it...it just is what it is. Sometimes God calls you to love those who despise you. I seem to get the call more regularly than most and I'm not happy about it.

My guess is there is some deep wound that I trigger in her. She knows it is not in our kid's best interest to not come here freely. She knows this.

She has no excuse. If she had really been worried the night of the non-incident she could have just asked to speak to Reese on the phone (who she had agreed would be supervisor). She did not. Instead it all came out...the anger, the accusations (unfounded) and then the repeated phone calls while I tried to console my daughter. Then the STOMP.

This is why I no longer suffer the company of angry and controlling women.

Good with kids...most definitely...but then she has the power. Good with adults? Not so very much.

*******

With brings me back to the issue of women.

This is what men think about all day: women.

Yes, sure, we also think about money, jobs, the yard, our retirement, friends and even God (notice what place God gets).

But we think about women because we are built that way. I am thankful to say that at 49 I am no longer beholden to this. I can choose otherwise and I pity any man younger than me (especially in this culture).

Being in love with a woman is not about sex. That's the very early translation and often mishandled. It's really about love and trust and respect. It's about communication and a climate of grace.

Now I am blessed because my roommate is very beautiful, kind, honest and smart. While we are not an "item" neither of us is the least bit interested in anyone else. So we live here in peace, care, good humor, love and mutual respect.

Things could change, but only for the better.

I have to say one more thing about her: She is great with my kids. So am I.

posted by Obi-Mac BakDon @ 6:12 AM