Doghouse

Sons and Daughters

The Poochini next to the Jeep.










First of all, I want to point you to one of my other blogs.

http://kookachay.blogspot.com/

I created this blog to chronicle good times and adventures with my youngest children Adam and Camille. It's mostly pictures because we like to get out and do things. We have many rituals...like "The Sandwich" and playing Uno or Authors. We even now have two "Bag's O'Fun" to carry various games and kites, swimwear, towels, footballs squirtguns, etc... These are all housed in the Rocket box shown above.

As you view the pictures you will see a long history of love and care. In the rare occasion that one of my kids has a problem with me they usually sulk. This is not manipulative...it is a reaction and heartfelt.

I take this as a signal we need to talk. I generally invite them out on the deck and ask them to air it out. I am quick to listen, very slow to anger and slow to speak.

Sometimes they are correct in a complaint. When that is so I feel it doubly important to affirm their observations so they will learn to trust them. When not, I point out things they have not taken into account and I ask respectful questions. So long as they are respectful (and my children always are with me) I have no problem being either wrong or right because they are the important thing. It simply important to get to the truth of any matter.

It is also important for children to be allowed to talk....to freely express themselves...once again respectfully. I saw that not because my kids have ever been disrespectful of me, but because if a child is shouted down or told not to speak and inner turmoil begins to brew inside that is unhealthy. In a worst case scenarios these children simply become bullies who use fists instead of words. In another they internal self-hate and fear.

One or two readers have wondered at my open and unrepressed airing out of this whole matter. I understand...I really do.

Some small part is my own past where I did not have the self-respect to speak openly, yet with respect on my own behalf. I no longer do that. I have a good voice and it is reasoned and fair. I am willing to change my view given newevidience...in fact I received an email just an hour ago that led to some editing of this ongoing chonicle. It was a fine observation and I stand corrected (and grateful). 

posted by Obi-Mac BakDon @ 10:29 AM