Doghouse

The Best Prankster Ever

Rich was the best prankster by far. He lived for it. He would pelt Devan Devan Olsen (we do not know why the double thing happens) with hot bagels in the dark San Francisco morning while everyone else slept.

He was as capricious as his God has turned out to be.

As Reese would say "Tree...apple...sigh."

I would sit at my desk around 2 p.m. studying Barker, Lane and Michaels (gawd they were dry) and I would hear Devan Devan Olsens (see above) keys sliding across the floor into the urinal.

scacacacacacacacattttaaaaa.CHING!

Another time (and I was witness) DDO was in the stall of the same bathroom. He was casting inflammatory insults at Rich (he had every reason). Rich was simply brushing his teeth.

More insults and more teeth brushing.

Then Rich put down his toothbrush, calmly walked over and picked up the garbage can and dumped it over the top into Devan Devan's stall.

All fell silent (I had to cover my mouth).

There was silence and then some slight rustling.

*******

This is how it went every day. There was never a day when we did not unleash something on each other.

It was a sign of love, devotion and respect. If other became involved it went very very badly for them.

But Rich was the best. I got him...he got me...in fact that was how we came to bond. He and I both had an epiphany that we should join forces.

Now least you think that Devan Devan Olsen was the main recipient I need to clarify.

There was the night that Rich and DDO krept up onto the fifth floor and unleashed an utterly huge water balloon on some unsuspecting students. The thing was massive and I can't even remember where they got it, but I do remember that once they let it fly (downwards) they realized it could KILL.

Then there was the Dave Miller incident.

Miller, a budding journalist posted a note in the Simpson tabloid about Rich's seceret microwave oven and coffeemaker (both off limits).

Three days later Rich was in my tiny room studying with me at 2 a.m. when we heard an awful cry-out from two doors over.

"Geez! what is that?"

"Bacdon....I put a potato bug in Miller's bed," Rich said.

"Oh damn...that is nasty."

"Yeah, but as C.S. Lewis said 'It will hurt, but it won't kill.'"

*******

This is why I made peace early with the Prankster. As you have already read I inherently knew the rules.

I struck first. Rich looked a bit like my old friend David Lubeck (Benn will enjoy this). Both of them are too beautiful to live...but that was not my deal. I photocopied up (remember, this is 1979) about 300 flyers for a "Dave Lubeck Look-alike Contest" on campus. The other pictures were of women and black men. Soon everyone on campus were calling Rich "Lubeck".

I mean everyone.

He struck back quickly by stealing my picture and doing a thing which noted my tendency to have too much hair calling me "webhead".

People laughed and pointed. No barber could help me.

After that we had lunch and decided to destroy others in a united fashion.

*******

posted by Obi-Mac BakDon @ 5:12 PM