Doghouse

Banned from PleasantVille

In late December I was asked to be one of six writers who would fill the shoes of Doug TenNapel on his infamously Right Wing Fundamentalist Blog (www.dougtennapel.com). I was to be, in TenNapel's words, the Liberal Christian" perspective from the "other side". He also hoped I would be as funny and entertaining for his audience as "Howard Stern".

Well, as it turned out, I presented a lot more substance and reasoned argument than Doug could withstand. On January the 17th, just 17 days in, I was suddenly banned from both the Forum and as writer on the blog based (supposedly) upon the post you are about to read.

Now, some parts of the post may seem harsh, but this is a very rough crowd. For my part, I was just trying to be funny and all the points of the ironic little post are true and verifiable.

That is all I will say for now. If you have questions, please leave them here on the blog and I will gladly answer them.
_________________________________

Chocolate City Nights

Doug TenNapel is an expert on my favorite city (San Francisco). He comments often. Even though I have spent a life-time here off and on, he seems to know more than I.

Today he wrote that San Francisco was a “Chocolate City”. I asked him what he meant (I did not get the joke though I know it referenced to Nagen in New Orleans talking about blacks…that was the context and I thought Nagen out of line). There was smugness in his referring to San Francisco so I thought, despite his protestations, (and my personal view that Doug is not racist) that he might be making direct racist and homophobic remarks.

But I waited for him to answer.

I had already posted that when he called me a faggot and gay (repeatedly) that I did not think he meant it as a compliment. It seemed incongruous with his supposedly non-homophobic stance. Why label a heterosexual a fag unless you mean him harm by the label?

Ergo…

So I asked him outright and, this non-homophobic, non-racist "Christian" man informed me that somehow my mind was in the gutter and referred me to a chocolate site for Ghirardelli…which I could have taken serious except it was followed by this gem:

“It's carefully packed, usually in bath-houses, public rest areas and gym showers.”

By this Doug meant “chocolate”. So who’s head space is in who’s gutter?

Well Doug knows all and sees all about San Francisco. I knew nothing of his hometown of Glendale, California until today and it really rocked my world.

Culture
I looked for the core of their sense of art, literature and history, searching for museums first on the Internet.

I found one in Glendale…Arizona.
I found one in Glendale…Scotland.
But, not a single museum in Glendale, California.

The Name
The name “Glendale” means “Jewel City” and the only historic jewel I could find was this one…the Glendale Sanatorium (http://www.epodunk.com/cgi-bin/genInfo.php?locIndex=10208) listed on the community page.

That really speaks for itself.

Major Cuisine
The home of Bob’s Big Boy restaurants.

That really speaks for itself.

Major movies that have been filmed there: only the sardonic Pleasantville.

That really speaks for itself.

(I am not making any of this up. Do a Google search)

The fact is, Glendale is a gigantic sprawling suburban strip mall filled with only fast food, junk stores, SUVs and endless traffic and smog (being pinned in by three freeways). It has no major parks, no beauty, no great restaurants, bridges, culture or the arts (except a cartoonist who is mean-spirited). It is a holding place for people who work other places and are trapped in its cement center.

Today, thinking about Doug, I drove past the Exploratorium by Crissy Field. I smelled the fresh air off the Bay and looked at the Golden Gate. It would surprise you how many beautiful women there were flirting with their boyfriends and how many children playing down in the sand.

I know my city Doug, and you are stuck in yours.

Happy cement.

posted by Obi-Mac BakDon @ 7:33 AM