Doghouse

Smoke and Mirrors

My son's photoshop version of me.






Gotta get me some Afro-Sheen and a winkie-dinkie dawg.




Well the Ex and LIBF are going to Washington for a week and they, of course, gave me no information. I mean I am only the father.

When I requested the information, and also addressed the hypocrisy of their living together while being in Christian leadership I was told that all my words and actions are "smoke and mirrors".

There was also an invitation to take it to the "next level", which I will accept now that I have been asked.

Now this is not for everyone. And, as I have written previously, I myself have been a LIBF. But it was a mistake, as a Christian and bore out of a certain despair.

When Reese and I were a romantic couple a part of our deciding to "shack up" was practical. That may be some of it for L and LIBF. It's not cheap living in the Bay Area. That part does not bother me at all. Nor does their obvious affection for one another. It is simply the hypocrisy. L hides behind an old legal situation that no longer applies but is not legally married to her partner who, in his arrogance, acts like a father.

It is not easy being a Christian. My roomate is not one and her world-view seems a great deal more comfortible than mine. To be a Christian means to live with one foot in one world, and the other in a different one. It is quite, er...disjointing at times. But it is, nonetheless, real.

And there are ramifications. My Ex is director of Children's Ministries at a major church in San Francisco. As such it is incongruous that she should withold her own children from their loving father while shacking-up with her boyfriend, who is also a major player in Christian publishing.

Anybody with me on this?

I was involved with leadership at Horizon Church in Roseville. The pastor knew I was living with my girlfriend at the time. He never judged me; he simply came and asked me one day "What would you do if you were me?"

"I'd take me out of leadership until I got my head out of my arse and got it right."

"That was easy" he said. And that was that.

Well I got my head out of my arse, but I still am in no hurry to do leadership stuff. What people do privately is between them and God, for the most part, but in a Christian worldview it is sin to disrespect the father, to divorce them and to live with a man when unmarried...and particularly so if you are in leadership in the Church.

Even those outside the faith feel this way. It is another piece of the hypocrisy that world points to and just says we are all phoneys.

Well I am a sinner. I am not a phoney though. Sanctification (being set-apart for God) is not an easy process, but it is real.

Jesus said we should not repay evil for evil; and we should also love those who decide to make themselves our enemies. I take that very seriously. In fact, it leaves me in a quandry.

What to do?

I welcome your comments and advice and you should do so unhindered. Do I take this whole thing more public" Or do I pray it through? Do I do both? And what of my kids who are witnessing this melt-down of their own parents?

There is nothing about this that is smoke and mirrors. This is a reality that I wake up to every single morning. I am trying very hard to be fair. It's difficult when you cannot pass by your kid's room and hear them sleeping peacefully.

posted by Obi-Mac BakDon @ 7:39 AM