Mars Hill Graduate School
After the wedding shots there was dancing, but as the evening turned dark my fabulous digital camera could not keep up (grrr).
I settled in with Mark for more discussion. He told me about a new book by Eugene Peterson (which I ordered yesterday) called
Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places. The idea being that Christ actually does "play" in creation.
We talked about Incarnational Theology...theology that gets dirty and acts and is not just in the head.
This would be echoed when I got back to The Citadel and met with new friend and Pastor Rod Miles for coffee. In his view, knowledge is a trinity of sorts ..yet wholistic...er...anyway, just that head knowledge, heart knowledge and action knowledge are all related in a wholistic way.
Later John Paul came around and said he wanted some time with me. I had not expected him to be able to do that, but I willingly obeyed.
Over drinks he told me about his concerns in going to Mars Hill to finish his graduate degree.
I'll leave most of that conversation between he and I, but I will say that it underlines the consistent concern people have about the "Emergent" Church...that in their desire to be relevant (and often hip) they may leave sound scholarship behind.
I am not worried about John Paul. One thing I have instilled in each of my "patowan" is a high view of scripture and the need to mine it like gold. There are basic hermenutical principles that are crucial in this.
One is, for example, that when you hit a hard passage you not only do not go around it...you go deeper with it. It is exactly at the "crisis point" that the best stuff comes.
Mars Hill is very cool, as is Seattle. They are so named after Paul's trip there where he took their own poetry and cultural longings for God and used them to communicate the good news of God's grace. They had a statue made in that place to honor the "Unknown God" and Paul said "I know Him."
Well I know Him too (same one) and so does John Paul.
Personally, I think those profs at Mars Hill are gonna have their hands full with John Paul...in a good way. His sometimes brooding nature will yield more depth.
What will he do with his degree when done?
I dunno. I know like Mark he can throw a fastball right by your ear, or drop a changeup off the table. My guess is he may becomae a teacher He has a winsome nature, but has also been seasoned by real "times" in life. Those things join compassion to the pursuit of God and Gospel.
Christ does play in 10,000 places. He was playing that night on the boat and as we passed Bill Gates estate I would not have traded our positions for anything. The sun was setting and Mark was laughing and our beloved friend had gotten married.
Sometimes life is really hard and confusing.
Sometimes it's just the opposite.
Mac, Tabs & Jon
It is really interesting to meet someone face to face for the first time when you have corresponded for well over a year.
Now it was Tabs and I who corresponded, but her love for Jon made me feel as if I knew him and I am happy to report they are just what I expected.
As I walked around their flat I saw so many stories in their artwork, furnature, arrangements. Both of them share a fun aesthetic...one that makes mine here at The Citadel seem a bit bland.
I found that a little inspiring and I may go into town today with the dog and look for some ...well see, I don't even know what they are called.
Jon does have a Dylan-esque way, and Tabs looks like a 1930s movie star. Classic. They are also relaxed and yet direct.
Jon took me tot he airport and we discussed Nietsche, and also how atheism is often an ally to the Faithful since it debunks dead religion. It was enjoyable (like with James at lunch) to be able to kinda talk shorthand. I am not ruled by being an intellectual...but I am one. I just do not think the sun rises and falls in my head.
Favorite picture
"Let's see colors that we have never been seen
Let's go to places no one else has ever been..."
~Bono
Electrical Storm
I like this picture best because they do not take themselves too serious. That may be their salvation.
Mark and I talked a lot about the failure of modern marriage and this on a celebration day of a union we are both hopeful for.Theologians C.S. Lewis and Denis deRougemont both made the same point :
when love ceases to be a god it also ceases to be a demon.
In other words, "lighten up Francis". (from
Stripes...I cannot believe Jon has not seen
Stripes, but then Tabs cannot believe I have not seen
Garden State or
Eternal Sunshine or, or, or, or...).
I figured I'd get a hello or two in with John Paul and meet his lovely bride. But he accosted me at one point for a sit down (not an easy thing to do on wedding day).
Later he urged me to please come back to the hotel so we would have another 30 minutes.
I loved every minute.
(more in a bit...i have to walk the poochini)
Back to Saturday
Rev. Mark Studer and Erin Tice about to become a Reese.
mark shared many stories with me, excerpts from his sermons...his views on many deep topics and he is a wonderful smartass so I kinda never stopped laughing.
One of many favorites was his sotry about doing a sermon in which he said that if Jesus returned it would unite botrh the Left and the Right factions of the church...because both would agree to kill Him.
That's my (sniff) "special boy..."Like "Deacon Dolson" in
Mass Appeal, he is almost to good a priest to be a priest.
But as I said, I'd go to his church any day.
Mark went to Princeton, just as my best friend Scott Mitchell did. They had the same professors, because the professors at Princeton never die. If B.B. Warfield and J Gresham Machen had not borken off to form Westminster in the 1920s they would be alive today.
Like Scott, he found it cerebral but with many disconnects to life and faith.
Okay..here is another story Mark told me...a joke...where The Trinity decides to take a vacation at different spots. The Father says He is going to Rome; the Son wants to see Jerusalem again and the Holy Spirit says He's going to Princeton because he wants to go someplace he has never been before.
I love this guy.
Are those Doritos?
Those who would think salsa chips funny for communion (like myself) really miss the boat.
Having made the boat the day before I decided to take this one too.
In its original context, communion is simply breaking bread together and drinking wine and understanding and feeling the presence of Christ in that regular and organic a way.
Jesus said "as often as you eat this bread...drink this wine..."
Well in that culture it would be every day.
You can have communion anytime you like, and best done with others at a restaurant, or out on the deck. Sit togther, read passage, open up and feel God's presence in the bread (or chips) the wine (or juice) and see God's handiwork in the trees and smell God's oxygen (if you can). And see Christ in your sister or brother, even if they do not believe as you do for the Imago Dei is present.
Gangstas
left to right: James, Ryan, Tabs, Jon and Coleen.
The service is a Postmodern one for sure, but with deep biblical underpinnings. It's hip, but not trying to be hip so much as just honest and open.
Which is hip.
They have the perfect facility in this old wide open school. They use some multi-media...but keep it simple and no fricken powerpoint bullshit going on during the service (I would have walked).
The pastor finally came up.
Why are pastors of big churches always big? Is it like sympathy eating when your wife gets pregnant?
Anyway...Big Guy. My size big..which is why I can comment. I haven;t missed any meals lately either.
Great sermon on Romans 15 and how Paul's sole
raison d'etre was the grace of God. Not because he was smart, or religious etc...just the grace of God.
He also didn't skimp on the hard edges like...grrr...repentance.
He was funny, but with a point. I give him a 9.5 and he gets a 7.4 from the Russian judge.
Moving right along...We had communion, which I always find deeply meaningful. Churches that have it once a month are idiots. It's like feeding your kids once a week.
Those who argue that regualrity breeds apathy have missed the whole point of Gospel. It's daily numb nuts!
You can see why I have so many church friends.
Imago Dei part 1
I woke up Sunday all beary eyed and sweaty after maybe 3 hours sleep. I smelled of "Bar" and was all Jumbo Jacked with cheese and it was still hot.
As I had gone to sleep I kept seeing Mark's face...and John's and Erin's. It made me happy...happy until one of the cellphones started beeping every 22 seconds.
Groan.
I had such a flood of images and feelings from the day before I wanted to be reclusive...beg off on going to Imago.
As always, I was simply honest with Tabs.
She was honest back. "I have wanted you to come for over a year."
It was not said to guilt me. It was just a fact. I love that about Tabs...she speaks her mind in a non-arrogant and non-manipulative way. I would still be loved if I stayed.
But see then you have to deal with a little higher authority.
"So what do you want me to do?" I ask God in my head.
"Go." (You dont actually hear the word "go" it is more of an impression...God is wiley that way).
"What, you mean like
Field of Dreams go?"
"Just go."
I am such a smartass.Well I did go, with Jon and Tabs and Coleen and we met up with James and Ryan.
As we were singing "How Great Thou Art" I was able to crawl inside the song and also enjoy group praise of God.
We were meant to sing as a species...but we only do it in pubs (in Europe), in churches, or around campfires.
That's it unless you are a musician (okay, okay...we sing in the car too).
This morning when I woke up at 4, the hymn was going through my head "then sings my soul!!"
This is not usual. Generally I awake with a certain sense of dread and overall foreboding.
Draw your own conclusions.
Mr. John Paul Reese
I said much earlier that when I first new John (at that time I went by Chris and went by John) I worried a bit about him because he and I were a bit too much alike.
I remember being happy when I heard he had gone to Regent. It is one of the best seminaries in the world. Darrell Johnson ( a mentor of mine) is there. So is Eugene Peterson. J.I Packer use to be there (maybe still is if he is still alive). I met him in 1985 at an intensive study of Colossians sponsored by New College in Berkeley, which I had some small connection with from year one.
Colossians is still my personal favorite book of the New Testament. I wrote a long exegetical commentary on the small book back in the 90's. I found patterns in the book that were not noted elsewhere and the high Christology and Cosmology are still, in my opinion, not yet mined.
But I digress.
No good man who loves God can escape a "Dark Night of the Soul". In fact, this Dark Night can last for years...they really need to rename it it like "Dark Decade of the Soul".
Accuracy is important.
John went into his own Dark Night and I'll leave it to him to tell that sotry when he is ready...or not.
But he emerged John Paul.
I am careful to call him this because I do see the change.
There is a bouyancy in his step. When I came up behind him and put my hand on his shoulder near the boat he had the face of a man open and free.
I guess you would just have to be me to see the change yet also see the same man that I have always loved.
It did my heart good...just in that moment. I had no idea what gifts God had for me the rest of the night.
******
I need to say this. God may be capricious and a rascal...but God is good. It may take years...but God is good and always keeps promises.
Just sometimes a little slow for us human folk.
Vision
Dang.
"It's All There"
He's turning to Ecclesiastes...
All my windows are like this...
Hoops in the Gym
Waterpipes in the Gym at Kennedy
Halls
Jon and Evan
Dave & Jon
These are dangerous men...serious.
Casting the Frist (er...First) Stones
Future rock-thrower.
You had to be there.
Hallway at The Kennedy School
Switching Gears
Why? Because I can and this is a non-commercial flight.
Evan, Breanna and Tabs.
Sunday was really my day with Jon Gentry. Tabs was burned out from ferrying a huge Scotsman to another state and back. Jamie got sick and Tabs needed to take her to emergency (as well).
Without cell phones nothing would be possible here.
Jon took me to the "Kennedy School", which is a cool old school converted into a Hotel, Restuarnt and about 6200 other things. It's very much what i alsways wanted Azotus to be and what is depicted in my novel.
That was weird.
(They still no not have a "Manfred" so there is hope of doing one here).
When we show up there are like a gang of people. Some I actually know by name from Friday night...like Breanna, Dave and er...well at least those two (I am not good with names).
It's an interesting reversal.
When I was their age and I sat at table with older thinkers, artists or poets I just shut up and listened and enjoyed.
Now that I am 49 and am a fairly established artist, writer, lay-theologian and Internet Guru I basically shut up and listened and enjoyed.
I like it better this way.
First of all they are damned funny. I luaghed so much and enjoyed the imitations, comments and stories. Playful, yet able to go deep I ended up in a side discussion with a philosophy student. Guy has the chops. It was nice...like a game of "catch" with someone who really has a feel for a baseball.
Jon was really my wingman the whole day and I enjoyed that very much. I'll post more pictures here in a bit when I get all the names from Tabs right.
They were very inclusive so I never felt on the outside.
The next few posts will just be photos from The Kennedy School.
To continue
Blogs are great except that in journaling everything is backwards or upside-down.
This is the next installment from the one below.
*******
So the service began on the boat and I took lots of shots then settled in to listen Mark and enjoy John Paul and Erin getting married.
It was serious, deep and at times there were tears down my cheek...happy ones. Erin looked so beautiful and her love for John so obvious.
She is a strong and direct woman. I asked her later if she had an older sister (just kidding).
Mark and I both know the hardship of divorce and we do not want our loved ones (or anyone else) to go through that...ever.
So he talked a lot about "agape" the New Testament key word for love. Mark emphasized the "decision" part of it...which is quite accurate. I would have only added that it is not something we can self-generate.
Mark did land again and again at "grace" which is the same thing. Gift-love. We decide to give not because it is rational or we will win...but because we can choose to be that open and give. God must supply the love and grace at that time.
"Grace and truth are realized (incarnate) in Jesus Christ".
Then they were married. When John Paul cried I kinda lost it because I know how deeply he feels and I know his heart. As I said, he is a deep pool.
******
When you are done doing a service you have to greet people and make the rounds. Then you most often want to be alone (or kill yourself). This usually works because people don't wanna discuss Christology, or books by Henri Nouwen or Eugene Peterson or talk about the difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. Most people you meet at a wedding are not prepared to discuss Docetism or make theological jokes.
And that is hard for a guy like Mark because he is not only wicked "smaaaht", he is damned funny. He likes to speak the truth, and he has the cajones to do it, yet it is not arrogance. It's really almost like he cannot help himself.
It's one thing to sellout on a political ideal, or even on a person...but God?
That's fucked up.
And Mark just ain't gonna do it.
I was inspired listening to him. In fact, I have been thinking of when to say this...now is the time.
The supreme compliment a mentor can give a student is "If your church was here I would gladly have you be my pastor."
And I would. I would love it if Mark would move to the Bay Area, and if he ever does, I will sit in his congregation and be thankful to do so.
*******
Ministry is hard...much harder than most anyone knows. It can break you a hundred ways.
It's why I avoid it, live in my Ivory Tower and just write.
I was a good pastor. I know this because of the fruit. I never felt it at the time. I felt vulnerable, naked, stupid, attacked, confused, honored, sacramental, horrified, scared, ambitious, fearful, full of dread, joyful, excited, humbled, arrogant, enraged, sad, playful, intrigued...in love with God and people and also distrustful of both.
Thank God I had a woman to distract me. Now I don't and maybe I am making my way back to my First Love.
It's too early to tell. But a wedding is a picture...a snapshot of Christ and the Church...Bride and Bridegroom. It's an imperfect picture (best thought of as a Poloroid, not a Diane Arbus, though it has the wit).
Mark is getting married in October in Philadelphia. As a sweet gesture he actually invited me.
I might go.
Mrs. Erin Reese
A wedding is a celebration, but it is also a serious commitment meant to be life long. There is a hard edge to such a ceremony and the pastor must be faithful both to celebration and also to vows made before God.
When Mark was in my college group he met the woman who would become his wife. Many years we would meet up again when I was a top level executive of a publishing company and Mark's wife took a job there as a junior editor.
At that time I had a corner office (actually three offices), a new sports car, two houses and a wife.
I would lose all of that within the next two years to three years.
Bad time to be a dot.com executive.
Bad time to be economically vulnerable.
So I went into the Meat Grinder for the second time in my life. Only this time I had not brought it upon myself.
That was nice.
But divorce is a bitter and devastating business.
*******
When I saw Mark six years ago in the Prima offices we spent some time togther. He was preparing to leave for Princeton to pursue a Master in Divinity.
I was proud of him, but wondered quietly how he would do as my best friend Scott had gone there and it had been very difficult on many levels.
But he cheered my heart with a story I shall tell another time about meeting another "patowan" of mine who I had mentored a bit in the late 70s.
It was really because of men like John Paul, Mark, Bruce, Derek, Jeff, Chris, Jeff (no typo), Thom, and a few others that I came to be in Seattle this last Saturday (okay...Tabs helped me get there).
You see, my heart is not so good. I am feeling my mortality and really the fruit of my life is my children (who are damned fine) and these men and women (there are one or two women, but I tend to be used with men) who will love and serve others long after I am gone.
They will write books, teach whole classes of students, mentor others as I mentored them, do art, create and impact the lives of those they live in community with.
So I decided a number of months back to write them. I got emails back from almost all. It was then that I learned of John Paul's wedding and that Mark would be there doing the service.
I am a recluse. I admit that. I am not good with crowds unless I am teaching (and John Paul reminded me of that fact quite pointedly in an email). I'm not adept socially when all talk is about weather we are having or how the Oregon Ducks are doing.
The conversation dies out and I feel like Chewbacca with manicles on with a severe case of hemorrhoids.
[I will make one exception...I met a guy named "Dino" on the boat. He was really funny. I think he works with Erin. I told him I would blog about him and now I have..."Dino...I kept my promise...don't keep your distance..."
He made me feel quite at home and made me laugh a couple times.]
Anyway. They invited me.
I deliberated
I went.
No Lurkers
Breanna, Dave and Jamie at Tabs place on Friday Night.
I just realized this whole trip was about talking, meeting and exchanging ideas, feelings thoughts.
It's gonna be an all week series for sure.
So NO LURKING.
You read it? Comment or note your participation!
If you don't I'll find you and sick the "Puppyhead" on you.
During the service tears streaked with much love as I saw John Paul look at Erin and she look back at him with such love. And Mark inbetween...a real pastor.
The student had surpassed the teacher by so much and it warmed my heart. I was so proud.
Now I am not suggesting I am not a real pastor. My calling is just weird.
After the vows, and tears I went down below and got a drink and went forward to get some air.I saw Mark to my right talking with folk and I felt humbled. Was it appropriate to tell him after 13 years how proud I was of him?
I did (of course) and he said "This is all your fault anyway...You have ruined my life."
Then as we washed through the waterways of Seattle, under a perfect clean sky, he started to tell me about his new life, his fiancee and his calling. I was captivated for the next few hours, and later...back in Portland at 4 a.m. I would lay there thinking of the smile on Mark's face, and John Paul beaming on many occasions, and seeing Erin laugh and I felt so damned thankful that I had come..and I also felt changed.
(more to come...as usual.."
we're just getting started!!" -Wallace Shawn in
The Princess Bride).
The Gospel According to Mark
The Rev. Mark Studer
Being ordained myself (I do not use my title as reverend...er...ever), I have a special sensitivity to the poor bastard who has to do a service, do deep work in front of everyone and God and then is basically avoided on the rest of the voyage.
Sure, people come by and remark about the beauty of the service and are thankful for the words. It's sweet and real and meaningful.
But silence follows.
I was hoping that I would get some time with Mark, but I did not realize that I would essentially have this wonderful man and brother pretty much to myself as we cruised around the exquisite bays, inlets and had great food, good drink, fresh air and the joy of seeing our beloved brother get married and having some real investment in his happiness.
I think I could cry right now.
Mark is a gift.
David in the Psalms (133) writes:
How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! It
is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the
beard, running down on Aaron's beard, down upon the collar of his
robes. It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the
LORD bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.
There are many good reasons to shun Christianity, but one very good reason (besides loving God) to be one is the rich fellowship that can happen in these times.
It's like realizing you both know the same best friend...there is laughter and depth and love and it is luxurious like oil dribbling off Aaron's beard...like the fresh dew and cool air in a holy place. There is a sweet scent of what is to come that you cannot know unless the Holy Spirit is not dancing around you as you talk...
...and drink.
Now it comes as no surprise to anyone who knows me that I like to drink...and perhaps not in my best interest. Drink sneaks up on you that way. You think you control it until it decides to flip the tables over and as Tabs and I were joking all weekend long
"there's that...there's that..." (Jesus Video)But that is just one aspect of life and health.
We are all broken in our ways..and that actually came up in a conversation this weekend a couple times. We are all broken.
After the service all the smokers piled up front and started to chimney together. It's against the law in Washington on a boat to smoke.
The young bartender handled herself well and was firm and gracious. She took time to "go get ashtrays" so they could get a couple extra lungfulls for their addiction.
Meanwhile the bar was full and open.
So Mark and I had a drink and settled in for a good long talk.
